Überleben Survival
by Faye Gwenever
Summary: Quiet as dried leaves, your goodbye fell on the ground, a flaw of tears washed my dreams away and an icy rain found its way into my heart.  Songfic.  This story is about Bonnie dealing with the loss of her beloved.  Tragedy/Romance  Please review!


_Hello guys  
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_This is my first Sonfic. The song is from the band "Eisblume" a german band. Its called "Überleben" They are one of my favorite bands and their songs mean alot to me :)_

_I really hope youll like it as much as i liked to write it.  
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**_Überleben (Survival)_**

Bonnie wrapped the scarf tighter around herself, but even the cold breeze of January couldn't match the cold she was feeling inside. She saw no way she could ever feel warm and safe again and it didn't madder to her. Bonnie wouldn't care if her heart turned cold. It already felt as if it didn't belong to her anymore. He took it away and every flicker of emotion in her. With his last breath her will to fight had faded away. She had lost her tears too. They had frozen inside her wrapping around her heart like a cell of ice. This cell would never open again. She would never let something inside her heart like love or happiness again. It was gone, just like him.

His voice still rang in her head, but it seemed so far away, though she knew it wasn't. The memory never faded away. It was the lock to the icy cell of her heart, which detained it to open. She was the one who was fading away. Away from the life she once knew. Of course her friends had tried to talk to her. Tried to convince her to let them help her, but no one would ever be able to help her. That was the only thing she knew for sure. The thing she wasn't sure of was how she would take the brave to go on any longer. In the night she had to fight against the nightmares and the arching longing for him and the days she had to fight keeping up the facade of icy callousness. The others worried about her, but she could tell they didn't dare remind her of all what had happened, though they already knew they had lost two and not one of their friends for good.

_So leis' wie trockenes Laub (Quietly as dried leaves,)_

_Fiel dein Abschiedswort (your goodbyes fell on the ground,)_

_Ein Tränenschauer wusch, (A flaw of tears washed ,)_

_Mir meine Träume fort (my dreams away)_

_Und in mein Herz zog eisiger Regen ein (And an icy rain find its way into my heart)_

Bonnie walked to the old woods her hands clenched in fists in her pockets. She reached an especially high tree and looked up. The winter had stolen the leaves of the tree making him look bleak and lifeless. The sky above her had a shape of grey. She couldn't tell if there were clouds moving. Dead foliage rustled beneath her feet. Just like that, she thought. His last words had been like leaves falling from a tree in winter. She could still feel his cold faint breath on her face. Her face had been wet from her tears. Sometimes when she looked into a mirror, it was as if she could still saw the traces on her cheeks. She would never forget his last words.

_Auf meiner Haut dein Kuss (On my skin a kiss,)_

_Ich kann ihn kaum noch spüren (i can barely feel him anymore) _

_Gedanken häng ich nah (I ponder on thoughts, _

_die in die Enge führen (which drive me into madness,)_

_Kühler Wind weht (And a cold wind blows)_

_mir ein Blatt herein ( a leave inside my house)_

**Flashback:**

"Bonnie?" His hand touched her cheek. Her fingers clung around his never wanting to lose his touch. He looked up to her and a smile formed on his pale blood smeared lips. His eyes were still full of these beautiful lights. Just like the universe. Bonnie knew the love inside her would die, if those smart loving eyes turn into black dead holes.

"Damon please stay with me. Please keep _fighting_. Help is on the way, you just have to hold on." Her words came out frantic. She could hear the shaking in her voice. Bonnie clung to his hand feeling his touch getting weaker with every passing minute.

She didn't dare taking a look on his horrible injuries. Somewhere inside her she already knew it. Her heart was the only thing which screamed _NO_ on all frequencies.

His smile never faded away. He looked up on her, as if he wanted to impress every detail of her face. "You know i don't regret anything." Bonnie was shaking with fear. His voice sounded so weak, so irrevocable. Her tears ran down his hand. „ I wish I could turn the time back, she whispered. " I have been so stupid."

Damon shook his head weakly. "No my little bird. You were the perfect distraction." His voice faltered because of a wave of pain running through his broken body. He flinched.

Tears obscured the girls view. "You beat Shinichii. We are free now", she whispered trying to guide his thoughts to the future. A future in which he will be alive. She wouldn't let him go. For one moment she saw the ghost of his typical cocky smile. "You bet I did." She couldn't help but laugh. "Thank you Damon." His fingers gently caressed her cheek. "You're safe now. That's all I ever wanted. Would you promise me one thing?" Bonnie moved closer to him. "Everything." He smiled sadly. "Come here", he said trying to lift an arm.

Bonnie snuggled onto his side carefully to not get in contact with his wounds. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, while he ran his fingers slowly through her hair. "You have to go on no madder what happen, you promise me that?" Bonnie hugged him tighter. "Don't say something like that. You're going be ok. We are going to be ok", she said clanging to his tattered bloody shirt. Damon's breathe come out as a long hiss. "Bonnie", he whispered. His voice held so much pain it almost shattered her heart. "You have to promise me that little bird. I want you to be happy again. "

Bonnie shook her head violently."No no no. Damon, please don't leave me." She lifted her head to look him in the eyes. His expression was so sad yet she saw so much love in those eyes, she wanted to rip her heart out, especially if she could have saved him with that. She couldn't life without him. He couldn't require that from her.

The smile returned and made her hope rose for a moment. "I thought I have more time, but life is unpredictable. As always." His fingers weakly wiped the tears from her face. "But love is unpredictable too, though i seem to have forgotten that over the years…" His face turned into a grimace of pain. He gasped. Bonnie took his face into her hands. "Please Damon you have to safe your strength. Please don't give up." His eyes never left hers. All he wanted to say was written in them. She bent down to him until her lips barely touched his. "I love you", she whispered not caring that her tears wet his cheeks. He sighed and closed his eyes to receive her kiss. "I'm glad little bird", he replied. Their lips touched to share one last kiss. His lips were rough and she could taste his blood on them, but she didn't care. He was her savior, her lover, her everything. He would always own her heart and she would always own his.

When the kiss end , Damon was barely able to keep his eyes open. But he smiled. Bonnie knew they had only a few moments left and though it tears her apart, she didn't want to waste any second. She lay down beside him again and just wrapped her arms around him holding him tight, when pain took over his body. "I'm glad you're here with me my love." His voice was nothing more than a breath.

_My love._ These words were like a sad melody, which sound would ever be placed in her mind and heart. "And I will always love _you_ my prince of Darkness", she cried softly. Damon actually managed to let out a little chuckle. "There is no darkness anymore my love." Their fingers intertwined. "There is only light." Both turned their heads to look at each other. "Will you promise me to not lose yourself my love? I don't want to be the one destroying you. When I go I want to have the confidence that you'll be ok…" He had to take a painful breath. "I…I will always be with you, don't…ever …forget…that." He was close to the end. "Bonnie nodded fighting against the tears to say something. "I promise. Damon i love you." The touch of his hand loosened. He began losing focus. Bonnie took his face again in her hands. "Damon? Damon no please look at me. Damon stay here. Damon." please stay with me. Damon."

"I...i...love you ...my...my little...bird." He closed his eyes forever. "Damon?" Bonnie moved closer and shook him. "DAMON!"

…when the others arrived they found her laying on his motionless chest, right there on the cold forest ground with her eyes staring into nothing.

**End of Flashback **

Bonnie would keep her promise. She would be brave for him, though she knew she could never be happy again. She just didn't know how. Her world had been shattered and her tears had been locked away. She knew _he_ would never destroy her, but her grief would. That's because she had decided to turn cold. Maybe this wasn't what he had wanted for her, but it was better than giving up on her promise just to end her pain.

_Ich werd dich überleben ( I will survive you, )_

_aber ich werde nie mehr dieselbe sein (but i will never be the same again)_

_Ich werd mich nicht verlieren (I will not lose myself,)_

_egal was passiert und stürzt meine Welt auch ein (no matter what happens or what may destroy my world)_

_Du kannst mich nicht zerstören (You cannot destroy me)_

_Das kann keiner (No one can )_

_Das kann nur ich allein (Only i can)_

_Ich werd dich überleben (I will survive you)_

_aber ich werde nie mehr dieselbe sein (But i will never be the same again)_

She went on. In a few minutes it would be dark and the forest wasn't a place to be at night.

But she had been so lost in her painful memories, that she hadn't paying attention on how far she went into the forest. The trees here were standing much closer together. Bonnie realized that she`d lost her way. _How ironically, _she thought. It was getting colder. Bonnie quickened her pace. Suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks.

_This Place. _Right before her, under a large tree, grew a beautiful rose bush. On the same spot where she had buried his ashes. They had given him a fire funereal. Stefan had said that his brother would have wanted it to be this way. Right then she had brought his ashes to this place. Bonnie approached the rose bush to saw that the roses had the darkest red color she had ever seen. Her hand slightly touches them. They were in full bloom. In winter?

She fell on her knees. Her nails dug into the hard forest ground and she let out the most terrible cry ever. "_Damon!" _The ice around her heart shattered into thousand sharp peace's and every peace seemed to cut her, hurt her. Tears broke through her dam. She buried her face in her arms and cried right next to the roses.

_Die Stille ist so leer ( This silence is just so empty)_

_Kein Vogel wird mehr singen ( No bird will ever sing anymore)_

_Und mein Herz ist aus Glas ( And my heart is made of glass)_

_Wie schnell kann es zerspringen (So easy to break)_

_Ich bete nur noch das dieser Tag (I only pray that this day,)_

_vergeht (will pass)_

"How could you leave me? I can't do this anymore…", she cried while hitting the ground with her fists over and over again.

A slight breeze ruffled her hair and caused her to look up. Her eyes couldn't believe what she saw. He was covered in light holding one single rose in his hands. "Damon?" she whispered. The smile on his face was sad. Bonnie slowly got on her feet. "Is this a dream", she asked him with her voice shaken. He shook his head sadly. "No lovely little bird. Im not alive, but they..." He pointed up."...are kind with us. They gave me a last chance to safe you."

Tears were running down her cheeks. "I'm only safe with you by my side", she said stubbornly. One single tear fell on his cheek. He wiped it away with the rose. "My love…I told you I will always be with you and …though we …can't be together physically, you just have to close your eyes to feel my presence." Bonnie closed her eyes. "I'm not sure I can", she whispered her heart arching for him. For him to take her back into his arms.

Something touched her cheek. She opened her eyes to see her beloved standing right in front of her, close enough she could almost touch him. The rose carassed her cheek. She reached out her hand for him, but he shook his head. "We can't touch each other", he said sounding as heartbroken as her. "The magic would disappear and me with it." The rose fallowed the lines of her face. "Please believe me. I just can't stand seeing you like this and all because of me" Bonnie fight against her desire to touch him. "But will we ever be together again?" The smile he gave her made her heart fill with love healing it from the inside.

His eyes sparkled. "I promise you we will. _I_ will wait for you, but _you_ have to promise me not ruin your life with grief. There's no need to grief, when we will be together again." And for the first time since her beloved died, a smile appeared on her face. "Close your eyes my little lovely bird", he whispered. She did. The touch of his lips felt like butterfly wings and when she opened her eyes he was gone. Right to her feet was the single rose. She picked it up and held it to her lips. It felt like his touch. Suddenly she heard people calling her name. Her friends were searching for her. Silently she sat down and waits her smile never left her face. Never.

_Ich sitze reglos hier (I sit here motionless,)_

_in diesen dunklen Garten (in this dark garden..)_

_und kann nichts anderes tun als ( And cannot do nothing else)_

_als darauf warten (But waiting,)_

_das meine eigene Welt langsam (that my world slowly,)_

_noch mal entsteht (emerges again)_


End file.
